.::Tuesday, December 30, 2003 well actually today was wat could i say...its one of those dayz that just don't seem or feel quite rite...dunnoe y but i just feel like this...i still feel so distant frm my fam...still...and i dunnoe y...maybe its becoz i came home late again...and i can see it on my mom's look that she is really really worried and a bit sad...ya...its just this feelin that disturbs me tonite...or shd i say this mornin...ya...its back to me old habits again...justin justin wat are you doin to yaself...well i dunnoe...niways...its almost the new yr and i really dunnoe wat to look forward to...a new sch...new ppl...new wat???....
everythin is new...but some part of me wishes it were not...some part of me wishes i was still sec 1...some part of me wishes that when i wake up after the 31st it would be 2003 again...some part of me just wishes i never get to 18 and just remain 17....some part of me wishes that i could get to know some ppl who passed me by better...some part of me wishes that somethings never did happen...i wish that i could understand why i am like this...i wish ppl ard me could understand why i am like this...i wish ppl could hv known me for wat i am...i wish...i wish...and yet i still wish...but come to think of it...this wishes are longings that i wished could hv happened again for i noe that the comin new yr lotsa new experiences i will see...lotsa challenges...lotsa ppl...but what happens to the pppl in the past...guess like all ppl we forget them...and i am guilty of it sometimes...but when i remember the ones who brought me to where i am it just strikes me again...well i dun really feel like talkin alot for i will sound as if i am preachin...but anywayz i just cant believe my life as a sec student is over...and i noe i hv blogged abt this feelin b4 but after readin lin's blog and her recent entry it just compels me to feel like this again...i dunnoe why but i just somehow feel this way...anywayz...i shall not dwell anymore in this past feelin for i noe i must put my past aside to move on yet not forget it...for the past is the path that i hv taken to reach where i am...ya...gues i hv said enough for today...so guess i will stop here coz i hv a headache to cure...
bravenet.com