.::Say something...

.::Wednesday, March 31, 2004
"Explicit rebuke frm the conscience within"

how long will you get up frm your sorry state and start movin...you always talk abt doin things but yet you dont do them...when will you ever start...you cant carry on like this...lettin just one day destroy your wk...or just one whole day destroy your whole life...cmon start movin...WAKE UP!!!!....you are not like this justin....you always rise up when need be...but wats wrong now...you wont even tell yourself neither anyone...its not rite to be like this...not rite to shut the door in the face of your close frenz....dont you noe the longer you are like this the more you will never get out of this pit...you were fine then...why now you end up like this pathetic person...its not rite just....you can never be like this...remember the time i wrote to you when you were stonin b4 your o's...remember how you brought yourself up....u can do it...its all in you...but i guess now you just cant find it....and i guess it is closer than you thought it is...though its in you remember that someone is always there for you...cmon smile dude....u cant carry on this way it will just produce bad chemicals...serious...anyway its your choice...but pls dun take too long...for you noe deep inside you are wastin too much time...you need rest at first...than you need to focus on the rite things....so dude...i hope this will be the last time i write to you...coz i noe you more than you noe yourself...you just hv to pick yourself up by reachin out for the hand that wants to pick you up...the hand that is always willin...the hand that always is there....and one more thing just...you speak abt a fire...a fire just cant appear by just sittin down there...strike the match first...then the fire will begin to burn if you cant do it...let someone else light that light...and may your fire burn bright...and drive out this grim feelin...cheer up...seriously...once you do...you will know wat i mean....

Your conscience

.::Monday, March 29, 2004
i guess i dun feel like myself again today...is it just the blues or wat...sighs....well i guess i was very like lively the other wk but wat a way to start the new wk...dead...get it dead...been stonin in lectures the whole time and now it goes to show why i m writtin this coz i just gotta wait till 6pm for drama rehearsals...sighs...anyway i seriously dun feel like myself and i know its not a gd testimony of what i shd really be but anyway...just feel like nothin is goin my way....i still hv this late syndrome thingy and i guess i hv been worryin my mom too much and its not that gd...i havent been doin hse work and my bros cant be bothered as well...but i am really...but its just that i m too tired or too stucked up with other things...i just wish that there was someone else or someone who could lighten off the load frm my mom...coz if not i dunnoe...i can see that she is really stressed out by us...and i wish i could help out rite now...but i cant...haiz...well...i just hope that she is fine today...and i just wish i get my engines greased again and stuff coz i need to start my engines coz i m goin cold again...anyway...i guess i m gettin tired of writtin this and i think if i write any longer i will be crappin again...and i guess i hv been crappin all the while...and i guess....i guess.... there is nothing more to guess so i shall just end here...and ya...

"i think the flame that i wish i never lighted is burnin grimly within unlike the one that shd be....the bright and cheery part of me..."

.::Saturday, March 27, 2004
the worse thing happened to me today...i dunnoe wat...but usually i can wake up on my own but today....i woke up very late and i had to be in sch very early...so the conclusion is....haiz...i didnt go...and becoz of that today i was so i dunnoe...late...then i dread sch on monday coz i know mr lim kok wee will breathe at my ear tellin me to go for make up pe...haiz...anyway gotta face it coz its my sch for the nxt two yrs...anyway...just got back frm yf...was late for tat too...i dunnoe wats wrong but i noe i m in deep trouble...well guys nothin more to say nimore...ya...dats all...

.::Friday, March 26, 2004
haiz...tired...so deprived of slp....and wat am i doin awake???....well one thing...i really realised how grt aj is..coz its just so grt the ppl there....and it just wants me to go back and enjoy the camaraderie there....its so grt...anyway...i got the subject combi i wanted...and ya i guess i m gettin tired by the day everyday...and bloggin seems so tirin all of a sudden...well its not becoz i dun hv stuff to write...i do hv stuff to write but i dun hv the energy too...well reli...sori guys...i know u guys are waitin to here updates and other interestin stuff that i write...(as if my writin is that interestin)haha...anyway...i guess i need to go now guys...anyway aj rox!!!....and i realise that God does ans prayers...and i m blessed that i m where i m....ya...well thats it i guess....see ya soon i hope...and ramzi, nab, rovin, linda,kumar!!!....i miss ya guys so much...how i wish we could laugh like we used to b4...and i guess it will be months...wks or even days b4 we meet again....and here is a tribute to you guys my friends...and also to those in my yf/church...Kheng ling,edith,kheng tian, luke, elaine, daniel, benedict, charlene, christina,charmaine and to those in my class in fajar and also those whom i noe in marsiling pri notably ms yanti, sanjay, sang il ....those in aj...notably...jega, ariana, amanda, marie, siyun, ailin, my og conifero in orientation one and sole in orientation 2(though i guess we were kinda drifted apart) ....also to those whom i met in yv...jason, wenxu, shawn, gary, felicia, chui san, yuli, and many more coz i cant possibly name everybody....i just cant believe that i m blessed with you guys in my life...and also to those i didnt mention...i just wanna tell all of ya guys how wonderful my life is that in one point in my life our paths hv crossed...this is a tribute to you guys....

words are never enough
to express this feelin i hv
for none can describe the joy
havin ppl like you guys in my life....

for once i thought life was stale
so mouldy and yucky
with nothing in store
but boring solitude

for you lighten my life
lifting the shroud from my eyes
bringin a smile frm ear to ear
as my mourns rise up to cheer

thank you guys
for your friendship
somethin so difficult for me to find
yet it grows out of sight

as blessings do come in disguise
just like you guys...
for i never knew...
how much i depend on you guys
for me to just smile for a day...

well...there ya go guys...hope you guys do keep in touch...and i dunnoe why i chose to write this tonite...but anyways...i guess this alone is never enough to say how grateful i m to you guys...well till nxt time i guess..

.::Tuesday, March 23, 2004
well...sch has started already...and its grt although the og i m in is kinda dead...but its ok...kinda fun i guess...anyway been very tired this two days...on mon went to council and cleaned the store and got some stuff home haha...and most of us looke like the karang guni guy...very funny...anyways...drama rehearsals start tomolo...and i m so excited...haha...anyway i reli dun hv much to say to you guys i guess...haha...ya...well i guess this is as short i can write...

.::Sunday, March 21, 2004
heya guys sorry for the long silence on this entity...its just that as if i hv lost my mood to reli blog...and further more i still hv to complete my life story that everyone is waitin for...and i m like so far away frm that....and i think u guys will not be in the mood to hear me yappin bout me life...well just to finish it all up then i guess this will the entry of a lifetime...

well while thinkin wat to write so as to continue frm the previous entry i guess i ended at me sec 1 life whereby i talked abt my frens...well side track abit...i just wanna tell you guys that narratin one's life isnt as simple as it seems...anyway carryin on...well in sec sch, i didnt regret goin to fajar...coz there i reli enjoyed my time there...well for some reasons lar....firstly it was my frens there...most notably my inner circle of frens...without em i wouldnt hv enjoyed sec sch...well i did mention them..and to add more spice..this same grp of frens were in the same cca's i were in..how the more interestin my life in sec sch was...seriously....majority of em were in drama then some of em in hockey...and we all were really close knit...and i was glad i found this ppl in sec one...coz we played together and studied together...haha...anyway...well i shall say one thing...and i guess some of my frens do share it too...that out of the two cca's i joined...drama was the one that really is in my heart...it is one of those cca's that just releases urself frm the world u r in...coz frm there i get to explore my inner thoughts and with the help of english lit in my sec 1 and sec 2 days....i began explorin my ways of expression...through poems...and little writins that i still keep up to today...i even wrote one abt a teacher whom i really hated...and i still do till today...seriously i guess the best way i can release my pain in my heart is to write it down...anyway...ya...thats how drama made me feel...unlike hockey...whereby i got a lucrative position...becomin the vice cap at sec 3 then cap at sec4...it would be grt if i continued it...but my interests lies in the arts side...anyway...sec sch was a blast really...and one highlight i wanna point out was when me and my frens hosted the whole teachers day concert and that was sec 2...it was really grt...and i kinda like stripped to my singlet durin one point in the show...ya...i was still wild lar...anyway come sec 3...my frens and i were strained...and i mean it "STRAINED"...due to the kind of education system we r in whereby merit is all that matters and that one's pure interest is killed...anyway...b4 isa comes after me...haha....ya...we were kinda separated...and i got "strained" into the so called best class...and i was glad that some my circle of frens were there...anyway....i was in that class for two yrs....

well the most memorable moment in sec sch was durin my sec 4 yrs...whereby it was my last yr there...and it was also the syf yr for my sch...and i hv already given up on hockey coz i couldnt work with the team...coz they all had their own thing and didnt believe in wat i did...and i guess thats the worst failure i had in sec sch...and durin this yr i grew bonds with the drama guys like no other...we were practically smellin each other...and i guess i cant contain everythin i have experienced in here and i owe all this blessins not to myslef but to God above...coz i never knew how blessed i was to be in such a sch...although it aint RI...SjI or all those elitist schs...one thing i can say...though Fajar may just be a small sch to all you bigshots...and though you can boast all those grt academic excellence etc...nothin...absolutely nothin can compare to the experience i hv gained there...and i willl just owe it to a few ppl...firstly my circle of frens...notably ramzi, linda...this two are the best of the bestes frens i can ever had...they hv really seen me through thick and thin bla bla bla...really...without em...i dunnoe wat i would be...the teachers...notably...ms nora and mr maran..whom turned out as role models to me...(startin to sound like my valedictory speech)...ya..wont further go on...

well as u can see my life is a journey....frm a rascal in pri sch...to some role model to others..(really...i can testify to that...that ppl do look up to me...and i m not boastin ok)its just a drastic change dont you all think....and i cant thank The Lord more than ever in leadin me in my life...and givin me blessins in every form...be it frens etc...i guess it was him all along workin through me...and now as i stand at the threshold of a new beginnin...i just pray...he will lead me...and yes i m goin to jc...and its confirm that i m in aj...and i thank him for that too...

well guys...i guess i am done writtin my life...and i know there are a bit of hoes here and there...but anyway...if u guys still wanna noe more....just tell me then....or mail me...anyway...i just had this thought and i just wanna write it down for you guys...

if i knew who i was tomolo...
then i dun hv to live today...
for i see no purpose to live...
because tomorrow i see who i am...
that is why life is a new gift everyday...
like a piece of plasticine...
moulded by our hands...
and shaped by how we want it to look...
be it lovely or ugly...
it will be beautiful in our eyes...
yet by our nature our lives deceive us...
for though we know where we go...
you may just end up movin in circles...
for though your life is meant for you...
i would rather give it up to Him...
so he can take me...
guide me...
use me....
for i m just a pot of clay...
bein moulded everyday...
by the great potter's hands...

well...i guess i hv said more than i could and i guess by now u all may be confused bout wat i said...anyway...i will just stop here....

.::Wednesday, March 17, 2004
heya guys...changed my whole layout of this site....well i chose the flame coz it symbolizes how our lives shd be in such a dark and cold world...it also shows that our life is finite whereby like the fire we will just run out of fuel and just die off...or even worse...the rain may come and just shut you off...just like us...we may not know when we die...well i may add a few more changes...

anyway update....its been awhile since i really took time to blog...really didnt hv the mood...coz i was bottled down on wat to really share to you all esp when it comes to my life story..well this isnt it yet...coz ya...i just finished redoin my whole blog...updates...welll you guys know that my dad is already in oman and he is goin to dubai v.soon....ya and jared aint home so its just me my mom and joel....and ya...had a grt time yesterday....andnow i feel so tired....well sorry for the quick summary...and ya i forgot to miss out that over the wkend i helped out with act3 for their kid's festival thingy...ya...anyway...tats abt it...anyway...i will be writin a v.long entry oon...hahahaha....

.::Friday, March 12, 2004
well l guess i was too tired frm pe yesterday to even type anythin in this blog...haiz...hahah...anyway...today is the last day of sch for this term and it is really slack...coz frm now onwards no more tutorial...and just lectures later...haha...well...i guess i m too tired to even say anythin be it even bout me life...haha...well anyway...i guess i wont talk much lar...really...anyway....just wanna tell you guys....just wait for my latest entry bout my life...it will be out soon i hope.,..ya...well dats it...

.::Thursday, March 11, 2004
hey guys...well am in the sch free access area and now its my lunch break..been takin it easy so far since its almost the last day of the term...anyway guys...thnx for the feedback abt my life...didnt noe it was very interesting and ya abt my friend ur mentionin...well will mention that soon maybe later...coz i guess i will be typin like mad tonite...anyway my dad is gone again to dubai...left this mornin...ya...and you noe wat...i forgot to bring my hp...aargh...then rita the act 3 person will not be able to contact me....how...haiz...was thinkin of callin my mom abt it...but maybe later....and ya one thing...Man U is out of the champions league...i m both bitterly disappointed and happy that they r out..."comin frm a man u fan"...anyway i just wanna share something with you guys...its abt some issue we are goin to discuss in gp...well it abt the gay marriage issue and our tutor gave my grp a stand whereby we r a civil rights grp against gay marriages for civil unions and against the ammendment of the constitution...(those who dunnoe wat i am talkin abt go and read up ur papers coz its a recent thing)well wat struck me was the stand in itself...i had to believe in my stand or else i would not be able to put across my statement...but the basis of my argument was one thing i wanna put to you...well my grp concluded that society is not ready to accept gay marriages and that over time when we treat gays like our brothers gay marriages is something we wouldnt find as disturbin...well u see...its kinda scary you noe wat i mean..based on my belief itself bein gay is not a rite lifestyle to live in...and time goes by..ppl will accept such a lifestyle than soon wat we thought was bad will be good...get it...welll just a thought for you guys...coz i guess it is somethin irealised that is serious...well anyways...on hindsight...i just feel light hearted although i feel a bit tired and later got pe...haiz...nvm...well just wanna say that God has ans my prayers...and i thank him again for it...well will tell you soon abt it...haha...well dats all guys....will write later more on my life...rite now...just be surfin on the web..haha....

.::Monday, March 08, 2004
well guys...sorry haven blogged for the past few days...really i m gonna burn out soon...and you noe wat lately i hv been losin stuff...i lost my pencil case...and i lost 3 rulers and one long ruler...fascinatin aint it???...well i guess its becoz of the lack of slp well dat's why i m writtin rite now coz i dun wanna spend like until midnite typin....well anyways...like i said...part 2 of the story of my life....

well where did i left off...well if ur too lazy to scroll back down...let me just summarize quickly...born in 1986....stayed in philippines for 5yrs...went to malaysia for 6 yrs...then now is singapore...well the reason my dad wanted us to shift to s'pore was becoz of education(ya i noe singapore has the top bla bla bla)....but it was a gd rationale....anyway...my dad decided to move in nov...and i remember b4 the moers came we packed our hse up like nobody's business...ya...anyway i didnt know how i felt then coz i think i never had feelins then...coz i dont remember me bein sad or not....but i was like kinda....hmmm relieved???....well i dunnoe...but i guess i kinda miss malaysia...becoz of the ppl there...they were really one of a kind...seriously i miss the boy's brigade there...i mean i guess it was there where my bad boyness kinda fell away frm me...as in it was there i guess i grew up...(but i guess i m still growin up now)and to tell ya the truth the yr i was leavin m'sia....was the yr whereby i was almost gonna graduate frm BB junior...and go to the senior BB...anyway...when i came to singapore i didnt know wat awaited me...or wat to expect...coz it was just so modern...and i was really fascinated by the light...the greenery...the transport system...the flats...it was a wow thing...one that i cant explain...but that was nov...and i guess it took us a month to really finally settle in...u noe...fix the house up and stuff....well i did continue goin back to jb...durin sat...for bb that is...but i guess it only lasted a few months b4 i stopped coz i was just too tired...and i was 12yrs old leh...and i had to like take care of jared while crossin the causeway...and usually we walked across...then a cab...haiz...it was hectic...

anyway when jan came...i didnt go to sch...coz my mom had to settle some stuff...coz she was busy searchin for a sch for me and jared....and a sec sch for jon....well it took her a month can u believe it...becoz there was just so many red tapes...like no places bla bla bla...anyway...i remember it was feb...that my mom actually found a sch...1st she found jon a sch in lavender...and it was like super far frm our hse which was in wdlands..and the sch she enrolled Jon in was christ church sec sch which was really a place that to put it short...Jon didnt really hv a gd stay there...anyway...he went to sch first while i was slackin at home i think....haha...anyway i remember that a few days later i sat for an entrance exam at 2 schs and so did jared..one at swiss cottage primary which had places for us both...but they took so long...and my mum gave up on em...then was marsiling pri..which had a place for me but not jared...so i went there...and lo and behold in a few days time they called me to go to sch liao...and my bro got a place at qihua primary....well i remember steppin into marsiling pri on my first day....the principal Mr ONg then if i m not wrong...walked me up frm the go all the way to the hall and i was like standin beside him through the assembly and the singin of the song and the pledge bla bla...well it was kinda intriguin lar coz there were many eyes on me...ya...well anyway i was put into 5I...and dat class was mainly made up of ppl like me...haha...anyway...pri sch was kinda fast...and all i remember durin p5 was dat i didnt come to sch for some wks...all becoz of girls...u noe i was bullied by girls???...haha...funny rite...well i got a scoldin by the principal anyway...and my mom and dad had to see him...well that was p5...nothin very significant though...except the adaptation to Singapore life...well...i guess the best thing abt my pri sch was the ppl i made frens with...and i met really good ones...there was this korean guy i really became a real buddy to...his name was Sang-il...and he was a gd companion really...me and him were like buddies...and i really got close to him and thats how i gotta noe korean food....becoz he would invite me over to his place to play playstation and his mom would sere up dishes like kimchi...wow...it was grt...but i guess after pri sch it we didnt contact each other anymore...really sad...but i guess frens come and go...and buddy...if ur out there this is a tribute to ya...anyway...i guess my most memorable yr in pri sch was p6 when i met Ms Yanti...one of the most carin teachers ever...she was very motivational...she was really encouragin and did everythin to make the class really work...well i guess our class was a real intelligent bunch...really...anyway it was grt and i remember how she divided us in grps in class accordin to space shuttle names...and i was in challenger...well she was a fav...well in the end at psle...without her help i guess i wouldnt have gotten my 4As...well no A stars...but i was happy...well besides studies...i did represent my pri sch in softball as a reserve short stop....and soccer...as a center back...

well after pri sch...came sec sch...and ppl always ask me...why i chose fajar???....i dunnoe...i just didnt wanna go to a sch in wdlands dats all...but to tell ya guys the truth i put fajar as my first choice..weird hor...but anyway my stay in fajar was one i never regretted...really and honestly...why i say so coz it was really an experience unlike anyother coz words alone cannot describe...okok...let me just start yr by yr...haha...this is so gonna be fun...

sec 1...well i remember the 1st day in sch in my class...we were all cooked up in the hall whereby we were greeted by our "beloved" principal Mr Gopal a.k.a by some of us..."oreo"...okok...sorry bout dat...anyway...the first day...he kinda like heartsell the school by sayin the hall is the only rubber hall insingapore..bla bla bla...anyway....to tell ya somethin...1E1 2000...was one of a kind....and we had one of the best teachers as our class counsellor...Ms Nora...and becoz of her i enjoy wat i do now...hehe...anyway abt sec 1....ya...we were at first seen as this quai quai kids...u noe the very like shy shy...then like we all look so innocent...haha...anyway that was just the 1st wk...come the second wk...hahaha...it was more like chaos...haha...well sec one was a real wild ride for me and my frens...well they were grt pals...of course it would be a teachers nite mare with hyper kids such as kumar...ramzi...me...rovin...guo wei...nabil...morgan...fadzly...indera...we were rascals...and we even like beat up a girls bag...okok...we were still kids...anyway...the worse thing was i was the monitor and i like joined along...so i got into trouble and ms nora like scolded the lot of us...and noe wat...frm dat day onwards..we kinda became a more behaved and we learnt how to control our rowdiness....well thats not the end though...there is more to say...but i must say...i hv been typin this since 6pm...and i really really need to turn in rite now...so i guess guys...i will tell ya more abt sec 1 life maybe another time ya...haiz...i wish i could...but its just a chunkful...hehe...anyway...i will just leave it there...till nxt time...and ya...if ya got any qns...tag me or just email me...hehe....


.::Friday, March 05, 2004
hey hey guys...been awhile since i wrote in here....wat a wk...wat a wk...its really a how to say...up and down wk...well...mon was grt...tue was grt...wed was grt...thurs was not.... and today was perfect...haha...ya that summarises my wk...well i thought of goin through day by day...but i just feel so exhausted...maybe another time or maybe never...hehe...:p...well i like the happenin ppl in my class...they really are a great bunch of ppl.... 5 stars to all of ya...u guys made my day...really...i enjoyed it...anyway...well i guess u guys havent seen the crazy side of me...but i guess....i m crazy liao...after wat ariana said abt me eatin coleslaw with chilli sauce...haha...anyway...ya...its just grt...dat now after awhile i guess there are ppl after all in my class...haha...not sayin there wasnt any b4...its just that i wasnt willin to see it for myself...and now i see it...the more i love it...well i guess dats enough...anyway...the story of my life will continue...prob tomorrow...haha...well guys...hv a grt wkend...

.::Tuesday, March 02, 2004
noe wat...i feel so lazy today...dunnoe why...could be becoz of yesterday...ya...well i m suppose to meet nab..zi and rov...at 10.30...and look at the time...darn...well...i guess better get goin...or they will kill me...i m still tired...haiz...

.::Monday, March 01, 2004
well...its sunday today...really feel blessed(supremely happy)....of everythin around me...its just wonderful really...and rite now i really dunnoe wat else to say in my blog...well...if u guys do read my archives u may realise how emotional a person i am...and how events...small little things do bother me at times...well i guess its just me...and i guess at one point of time i hated me bein me...coz i always get into deep thought and was always so negative abt stuff...and i really hated myself when i thought too much...and i always thought that my mind was a curse...coz i would always think radical things...things that ppl find to be too extreme and think my thoughts are just too much...well i was unhappy...yes very...but i guess wat really changed my way of thought was when i realised that it is just me...and God must hv given me a mind such as this for a reason...and that i shd use it not to think negtively and stuff but too use it to glorify him...but so far as i see myself...i hv failed...but i still do pray everyday....b4 i enter sch...that he will bring peace to my mind..and my soul....so far...it has....and i m thankful...for everythin HE has given me till this day...and i guess i cant thank him enough even with this words i say...

anyway...ya...i guess i feel like tellin a story...hahaha...ya...okok....well it goes somethin like this...in the year of our lord 1986....17th of the 7th month July...a boy was born in St Lukes Hospital...Quezon City, Manila...and he was named Justin Paolo Quismundo Gumapon....Justin meanin justice....because durin the yr he was born was a period of injustice...and the time was ripe for it as Marcos was abt to be ousted as the president....Paolo in remembrance of my elder bro who passed away at 5mths old becoz of a disease in the brain the doc didnt quite detect soon enough...he was called Paolo Jorge Quismundo Gumapon...he was born in England...and he had this distinctive birthmark patch on his face...he was cute....and he would hv been 20 this yr...i was born to the Gumapon family....and Gumapon is my surname...not my dad's...my dad's name is Emmanuel Tecson Gumapon...and i was also born as a Quismundo...which is my mom's family name...well that sums up the birth of me...i guess...

well i lived in philippines for five yrs...and all i can remember are just so vague...but i recall my dad sayin that it was durin this time that my dad was in a bad state coz my family was broke and my dad didnt have a job...well i do remember i went to sch when i was like hmmm...3 years old...and i remember i was the only one speakin english there and was laughed at becoz i couldnt speak tagalog...well i guess i had a gd teacher who taught me how to speak...and sch was fun...it wasnt like the ones here whereby since nursery kids here are constrained by the system and costricted by the limitations it gives them that only the fit survive and the weak go nowhere....well...i only went to that play grp for 1 yr i think...well durin that time...i got left behind by the sch bus...and i was left alone in sch...and i was like 3yrs old...i wasnt sad or anythin...coz i remembered i didnt cry...but thankfully a teacher took me in and i spent a nite there...and i remember my mom sayin how worried she was lookin everywhere for me...well she called up the bus guy...and the guy thought it was a holiday...thats why he didnt come to pick me up...haha...well my mom really scolded that guy....hehe...well anyway...durin my three years on this earth...on March 25...Jared was born...he was a squealer....as my mom said...and my dad said he was impatient as he came out b4 the doc prepared the delivery room...so explains his nature hey....haha...well he was born and my elder bro Jon who is 2 yrs my senior...really took care of Jared...didnt really care much of the attention stuff...coz i dun remember fightin for it...ahah...well soon after that...my mom i think went to m'sia to visit my dad who found a job there...and she brought Jared along...and i think that was in 1990....but i guess between 1989-1990...i visited my grandfathers place at cotabato...and it was really a kampung there...i travelled o a ferry on my own with my aunty edith...well the life there was really cool...i was like runnin ard in the big field in front of the house my grandpa built on his own...it was 2 storeys somemore...well...i stayed there for a few wks i think...haha...well i remember sleepin in mosquito nets....they look like giant covers u use to cover ur food from flies...and one time my grandma made tinola frm one of the chickens i saw roamin ard...haha...it was gd there....i met also a few frens there...one called jp but its sad now..knowin that that hse is no longer standin...well anyway...thats abt sums up my life in philippines...coz in 1991 my whole family moved over to malaysia...well it was becoz my dad got a job and he asked the company that he wants all of us to go to if he gets the job....well he landed one at MSE in pasir gudang....haha...ya...well at first we met my dad at kl and stayed there a few days b4 we commuted to JB....and we stayed a few wks at taman rintin at one of the company houses....then we moved to permas jaya as my dad rented a house there...well we stayed in permas jaya for a yr...and it was a grt one...and to tell ya the truth...it was here that got the most scars...and mind you i was just 5yrs old...well....all scars hv stories and i guess the longest one on my body...was becoz of my elder bro draggin me on a mattress and lest did we noe there was a spring protruding out...then i hv one whereby i got it when i fell off the bike while goin down hill at a construction site...and yes...the one i most remembered was when i couldnt press the brake and i fell into a longkang head first....and the longkang was abt 6ft deep or prob abt 10ft.....and the meat guy...u noe the one who rides on the motorcycle and sells meat....helped me out....well as soon as i got out...i started bikin..and ya...bikin with a big baluku on my head...hhahaaha....anyway....i spent a gd one yr over there....realy met good neighbours....whom we went venturin together in the drains...playground...we were basically explorin...it was grt...well my dad got a car too...it was a white proton saga with a horn that had 5 diff sounds...and it was covered in lights like a christmas tree...haha...anyway...we shifted out of that hse come 1992...and we went to taman perling...and it was at this house...that brings back many memories...

taman perling was kinda a big estate...in 1992 the place where we were stayin was surrounded by plantations...rubber plantations to be exact....and over there i went to little buds kindergarten....and i love it there...coz it really brought up the person in me...coz durin the graduation ceremony...i performed a solo item...singin where is love...haha...it was grt...then came primary sch...and thats when my true self really showed....i guess i would call pri sch as the point in my life....whereby i was really a bad bad boy...i dunnoe why but thinkin abt how i was a bad boy...in pri one i remember stealin frm my mom and dad to get extra pocket money...got caught...was punished real badly by my dad...then at p2...i was a bully...pickin fights etc...at pri 3...that was the worse coz i was really a true blue samseng....haha...ya...i like joined the malay gang coz my sch Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Ngee Heng....was actually a malay sch so everythin was in malay...yes everythin...haha...well i joined the malay side and we were like against the indian guys...and i remember one time i fought this guy and we rolled around on the floor till the teacher came in...and she like scolded us....then there was this one incident i beat up this guy in the school bus until he almost fainted...i was a wild kid...really...very bad...but despite that i still got good grades....and i think the worse came when i was caned by the principal for being a truant...ya...i left school durin recess to buy chapteh...crazy huh....well dats pri 3...and i guess despite all that...i still got good grades....anyway...my life changed when i reached p4...i went into the best classs...away frm all the ppl i mixed with in pri 3....well i guess i was really terrible despite the fact i came frm a christian family...and also joinin the BB in church...but i guess my life changed when i reached p4...i went into the best class in the school...and i mixed with better company...and i had 2 best frens...one was Eugene...and the other Patrick...they were gd company...and gd frens...and the 3 of us did everythin under the sun...and the 3 of us became prefects...well...i was a prefect until p5...of that yr...and i was also the squad leader in the junior BB...but to tell ya guys one thing...durin p4...i did the most terrible thing one can do...smoke...it was becoz of Jon who got into bad company that i sorta followed him..but it was good that my mom caught him and scolded him...but not me...coz she didnt know i did...well...ya...thats pri sch yrs...after p4 and p5....my dad found a job in singapore...and we shifted over in nov of 1997...

well...i guess i hv said alot and can u believe it i spent a whole hr on this...well...i guess i will talk more on two more series...one will be my life in singapore...then after that my spiritual life and the conclusion...ya...well...i guess this will be where i stop then....well...i guess life mysteries will be uncovered when we realise that somethin after all has been guidin us through...