.::Monday, June 28, 2004
well...i guess i just hv nothin much to say anymore for the time bein...i hv let out wat needs to be let out....ya...anyway in the mean time i just am thinkin abt suff...ya...stuff...anyway...not that serious at the moment...thats all i can say though...yeah...
.::Sunday, June 27, 2004
over reaction is one...but self reflection is the other...i know i will lose this battle...but i havent lost the war...though i may be scarred or battered i will still carry on...for i know deep inside my will must go on...with the time i hv though too little...is all i hv left...and that doesnt mean i will waste it all again...but still i hv my own stuff to settle and make him understand...if only through this upset he sees it...than thats all i hv to sacrifice...now is the stipulated time...and i noe...that its now or never...for i will never forgive myself if i just dont pick myself up and move...for sulkin makes me weary...but i hv decided to focus...whether my will grows weak...i will still carry on for hope is always ard me...for i wasnt made this weak...i wasnt this weak...for though the weightage of this battle is heavy...its nothin compared to the war to come...its only through this self realisation of my mind i finally realise that all is not lost if i just pull it through...and even if i do lose there are many more battles to come...well...still...if this is wat i hv to do...than i will just do it...wonderful isnt it the power of the mind...well...i guess this is it...
I may not be the perfect son
Not even wat you thought i would be
For after all that
I m just unhappy to be in this family
The chance I wished to take
Was taken by who else but you
You robbed me of everythin
And now I lie here wonderin wat to do
Even though hope glimmers
I wish not to take it
For I m still unhappy
With the way it has all become
The path I chose to take
Just burns the desire I had
For now it rots
Like a bark eaten by termites
I have lost my all
Lost it all
And yet this anger I have
I cant put out
I dont know if i can forgive you
If it takes this downward spiral
For you to see who I really am
Then I will take it
If it means losin everything
Even my life
I would
I could
But even if i did
What would that mean to you
Another lost soul to the world unknown
where i will be consumed
You shouldnt have done that
For why should I fight now for a cause
That I know I will lose
No hardwork can repair what cause I have lost
I dont know if you will ever know
For now I have closed the door
And shut it tight from you
So whether you will get through
I believe I m done with you
For i have never been like this before
Till you slammed your fist on my door
I will never be able to get myself back
For I dont want to anymore...
To be your son
You have placed hopes
But now its gone
For I have been provoked
And I dont know what else I can do
But sulk in this world I have been locked in...
.::Saturday, June 19, 2004
anyway..sufferin frm a bad cough and flu like symptoms...haha...anyway survivin on apple cider vinegar, honey and lemon...and mixed with water to become some kinda tonic...haha...helped me alot...well..actually i want to say somethin initially...but as u noe me it takes a lifetime for me to write to an audience who someway hv shocked me that they actually read the stuff i write in this place...anyway...my production is over...hols hv just began...ya...and yes bout that somethin i wanna say...i just cant...wonder why...anyway..ya...guess tats all i can say rite now coz i just cant find anythin else to say just tat...i just cant think of wat to write...ya...anyway forget it...i guess i m just hmmm...SICK...hahaha...guess so...ya...well...ppl..kp on taggin till i settle my mind down and all of a sudden be inspired to write...ya...well...ya...
well...ok...wat to write here...actually nothin much in my head...haha...and ya...when i do hv somethin i will crack it open and let it out...and let it fry like a sunny side up egg...haha...cheers enjoy the wkend ppl...like i will...hahah...long day today...9am to abt 12midnite...yup...haha...cool huh...well...thats it ppl...till somethin comes in and inspires me to write somethin...haha but anyway...i do hv somethin to say...but i shall sleep on it and build it up maybe tomolo lar hor...hehe...okok...shant talk too long...so ciao...
.::Thursday, June 17, 2004
hmm u noe one thing funny...i never noticed that it was exactly one month that i revamped this place...anyway...forget dat...well...u noe today i was kinda stoned durin this activity i was involved in and it kinda got me thinkin abt some stuff...and ya...its kinda funny...and i kinda entitled it things i wanna do b4 i reach 25...well thats true yanoe...haha...ok i thought of a few things...well...i m serious abt em in a way...whether i do it or not thats another qn...well ok i shall get down to it...okok...
Things I want to do b4 i reach 25
1. run in a marathon
2. climb mount kinabalu
3. white water rafting
4. produce,direct,write a play for a school production
5. hv my own gig with my band
6. to master making roti prata
....
well cant think of anythin else...well sure the list will grow...but one thing i wanna stress is dat this are just thoughts..and thoughts sometimes get stored away somewhere where they dun come out again...well wat am i talkin abt...but i guess somehow i wish to do this stuff...but anyway...whether i will be able to do it or not...its up to me...but one thing i shd say is that...if i do get to do this and plan to do this stuff...all i can say...many things abt tomorrow i dont seem to understand...but i know who holds my hand...yup...well..ciao folks...
.::Tuesday, June 15, 2004
i believe i went back on my word that i will return someday...well...i didnt..haha..i m back i guess...and i m bloggin again hopefully....come to think of it....u noe...sometimes when i blog i just wanna say wat i wanna say...i dun wanna tell the whole world wat i do frm the moment i get up and stuff...i just want to speak my mind and sometimes in doin so i may in a moment of hmmm....i dunnoe how to say it...i just make a whole big hooohaa over somethin i never meant...well...thnx guys for keepin this thing alive...i guess its u guys who kept on taggin that made me just revamp this place....thnx dudettes...and ya nab...i m alrite now...serious...its just dat i guess i m a bit high strung now...and ya...this wk really need the energy for my performances...startin today...ya...anyway kp on taggin...ya btw...i just wanna say dat this blog skin was develop by nyokiglitter
and the title of this skin is strong tech...well its only best to mention this guy coz without him i guess i wouldnt be able to hv a blog...ya..so credit goes where credit is due...and ya go check out his other skins if u want...and i didnt do this to like butt kiss...but its for intellectual rights....i cant say i did up this skin...i just cut and paste and just added a few stuff..but generally its still his...anyway guys...i guess i feel gd to be back here...and i guess i shall say other stuff that bug me another time....
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