.::Sunday, March 21, 2004
heya guys sorry for the long silence on this entity...its just that as if i hv lost my mood to reli blog...and further more i still hv to complete my life story that everyone is waitin for...and i m like so far away frm that....and i think u guys will not be in the mood to hear me yappin bout me life...well just to finish it all up then i guess this will the entry of a lifetime...
well while thinkin wat to write so as to continue frm the previous entry i guess i ended at me sec 1 life whereby i talked abt my frens...well side track abit...i just wanna tell you guys that narratin one's life isnt as simple as it seems...anyway carryin on...well in sec sch, i didnt regret goin to fajar...coz there i reli enjoyed my time there...well for some reasons lar....firstly it was my frens there...most notably my inner circle of frens...without em i wouldnt hv enjoyed sec sch...well i did mention them..and to add more spice..this same grp of frens were in the same cca's i were in..how the more interestin my life in sec sch was...seriously....majority of em were in drama then some of em in hockey...and we all were really close knit...and i was glad i found this ppl in sec one...coz we played together and studied together...haha...anyway...well i shall say one thing...and i guess some of my frens do share it too...that out of the two cca's i joined...drama was the one that really is in my heart...it is one of those cca's that just releases urself frm the world u r in...coz frm there i get to explore my inner thoughts and with the help of english lit in my sec 1 and sec 2 days....i began explorin my ways of expression...through poems...and little writins that i still keep up to today...i even wrote one abt a teacher whom i really hated...and i still do till today...seriously i guess the best way i can release my pain in my heart is to write it down...anyway...ya...thats how drama made me feel...unlike hockey...whereby i got a lucrative position...becomin the vice cap at sec 3 then cap at sec4...it would be grt if i continued it...but my interests lies in the arts side...anyway...sec sch was a blast really...and one highlight i wanna point out was when me and my frens hosted the whole teachers day concert and that was sec 2...it was really grt...and i kinda like stripped to my singlet durin one point in the show...ya...i was still wild lar...anyway come sec 3...my frens and i were strained...and i mean it "STRAINED"...due to the kind of education system we r in whereby merit is all that matters and that one's pure interest is killed...anyway...b4 isa comes after me...haha....ya...we were kinda separated...and i got "strained" into the so called best class...and i was glad that some my circle of frens were there...anyway....i was in that class for two yrs....
well the most memorable moment in sec sch was durin my sec 4 yrs...whereby it was my last yr there...and it was also the syf yr for my sch...and i hv already given up on hockey coz i couldnt work with the team...coz they all had their own thing and didnt believe in wat i did...and i guess thats the worst failure i had in sec sch...and durin this yr i grew bonds with the drama guys like no other...we were practically smellin each other...and i guess i cant contain everythin i have experienced in here and i owe all this blessins not to myslef but to God above...coz i never knew how blessed i was to be in such a sch...although it aint RI...SjI or all those elitist schs...one thing i can say...though Fajar may just be a small sch to all you bigshots...and though you can boast all those grt academic excellence etc...nothin...absolutely nothin can compare to the experience i hv gained there...and i willl just owe it to a few ppl...firstly my circle of frens...notably ramzi, linda...this two are the best of the bestes frens i can ever had...they hv really seen me through thick and thin bla bla bla...really...without em...i dunnoe wat i would be...the teachers...notably...ms nora and mr maran..whom turned out as role models to me...(startin to sound like my valedictory speech)...ya..wont further go on...
well as u can see my life is a journey....frm a rascal in pri sch...to some role model to others..(really...i can testify to that...that ppl do look up to me...and i m not boastin ok)its just a drastic change dont you all think....and i cant thank The Lord more than ever in leadin me in my life...and givin me blessins in every form...be it frens etc...i guess it was him all along workin through me...and now as i stand at the threshold of a new beginnin...i just pray...he will lead me...and yes i m goin to jc...and its confirm that i m in aj...and i thank him for that too...
well guys...i guess i am done writtin my life...and i know there are a bit of hoes here and there...but anyway...if u guys still wanna noe more....just tell me then....or mail me...anyway...i just had this thought and i just wanna write it down for you guys...
if i knew who i was tomolo...
then i dun hv to live today...
for i see no purpose to live...
because tomorrow i see who i am...
that is why life is a new gift everyday...
like a piece of plasticine...
moulded by our hands...
and shaped by how we want it to look...
be it lovely or ugly...
it will be beautiful in our eyes...
yet by our nature our lives deceive us...
for though we know where we go...
you may just end up movin in circles...
for though your life is meant for you...
i would rather give it up to Him...
so he can take me...
guide me...
use me....
for i m just a pot of clay...
bein moulded everyday...
by the great potter's hands...
well...i guess i hv said more than i could and i guess by now u all may be confused bout wat i said...anyway...i will just stop here....
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