ok...today i wont reli call my day...ya...reli..ok...i noe i m not the type who indulges in my results or wat sort...but the thing is that the results i got today r kinda demoralisin...yep...its bad lar i noe...well ya failed my chem and mt...ya...only person with an F in class...an the funny thing is that my chem teacher didnt talk to me but to another person who scored 8 more marks than me...weird hey??...anyway not that i m seeking attention or wat...well nvm...my fav subject an F...yep...anyway the other one MT lost out 2 marks to meet the university criteria...wat a bummer hey...2 in 1...anyway...i guess its just one step to success this failures...well shd stop guessin...but anyway i guess my confidence is kinda in an all time low...funny hey...me...lack of confidence..well it happens i guess...but i can see the light frm this failures...i mean now i m determined even more to prove my worth coz i guess if i continue this trend i just might get kicked outa sch...well thats just one of my downers today...ya...well movin on...i just had another realisation that...ya..its true...i kinda project myself as unhappy and disgruntled all the time...i found this out frm my drama frens...cool peeps...i cant believe thats so noticeable..and me in denial...but i just succumbed to it...coz they say i look happier in drama than when i m in sch...its true i guess...when ur a loner in sch...cant reli stand all this clicks and stuff...ya guess i just lock myself in this world of mine...wat a bummer hey...and i guess in sch i just dunnoe who to trust on or who to depend on for strength,encouragement and stuff...i mean not being judgemental or wat sort...i just feel i m surrounded by ppl who are on their personal agenda..and if they dont fit into their "criteria" they dont care bout ya....well maybe its also a prob on my side coz maybe i m just unwillin to let myself known to ppl...well its a bummer...well i guess i just dont wanna make myself so vulnerable thats why i keep to myself most of the time...haiz...i guess thats wat i lack in sch this days...ppl i can depend on...when i cant even depend on myself alone...ya...well i m at a loss reli...but i wont let tat stop my revival here...ya...anyway...just hopin i can be happy in sch...but i dun find a reason to be...anyway...i just miss my real frens...its a doggy dog world in sch these days...unlike my frens in my sec sch...despite the doggy dogness...we still care for each other...and i guess that lacks in my sch life...(well it sounds like i m cryin out for attention...maybe i m...maybe i hate the way i spend my time in sch doin nothin but sulkin in silence for somethin others hv tat i dont)...well...i guess i wont let this make me stumble to the ground...but for the sake of my drama frens...i guess i shall try to be happy..."try"...hehe...yeah..
well like the sayin goes(or thought to go)...:"I guess no one cares if ur miserable...so dont be miserable"...so does dat mean livin a lie and pretendin to feel wat ur not???...
Mood:In deep thought
I guess the path to success is on ur own hey...thats the life in my sch...coz nobody cares if ur sad or happy...even if they do...i dont feel it except frm a minor few...haha and thats wat gives me my smiles i guess...haiz...
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