i do wonder...and still am wondering why out of all things the feelins i m goin through right now are the worst...i dunnoe who to heed at times...*askin myself* is this wat i really want?...i m not sure myself...maybe i m or maybe i m not...haiz...its so difficult talkin to someone you used to talk to so well knowin both are hiding somethin...its like one of those guessing games where you shdnt guess wrong...haiz...the matters of the heart like i said b4 are the most diff of em all...coz the word love is soemthing so misused today that i m not sure wat love u r talkin abt...its not that i doubt it...but its just dat what do u mean by it...i love everyone...dun say i cant love you too...coz i do...coz love is not somethin exclusive...and if u cant see this than how can it be love at all...sighs...i m so battered now long day today despite not bein at sch...went to a research seminar under nyc...it was very informing...very inquisiting...it was an experience...though i did doze off at some presentations...ya...but anyway it was a grt time and got to know new ppl...but anyway back to the root...it all comes down to one thing...how can two walk together unless they are in agreement...my belief of love probably is diff frm others...coz i dun believe the love the world preaches...i dun...coz wat is the basis of the world's love?...i noe may not be answering the qn but maybe i fear sometin inevitable that is comin...haiz...its the biggest wonder of all...why do i hv to kp someone in the dark for so long....why cant i just be frank and tell what really is in my heart...haiz...wonder of wonders....do u believe so much in the love the world sells?...do u think that is love?...i noe wat is love...but do u noe wat u mean when u say dat to me?...i noe wat i mean...but will u ever understand wat it means...i noe its not in my power alone...i suppose i will let you noe soon...but my heart will grieve if u just go...